Re-reading “The Anatomy of Peace” for likely the 3rd (maybe 4th) time. One of the best outcomes of my time at the Federal Reserve Bank of St Louis is the exposure to this and “Leadership and Self-Deception” books from the Arbinger Institute.
In these books, we learn that when in conflict, we often stop seeing others as people. Instead, we see them as objects that prevent us from obtaining what we want. In doing so, we justify objectifying them by telling ourselves stories about “them”. The more righteous our quest, the worse they must appear in order to justify our view of “them”. I love the term used in the book, stating how each side “horriblizes” the others as they erect their defenses and enlist their allies. The stories become more exaggerated and fear-based to horriblize the others the longer the conflict continues.
This occurs on small and large scales, amongst families, communities and nations. But we can resist the temptation and choose to see everyone as having value, as having opinions and perspectives worth considering, as being people and not objects. It requires a change in mindset from what has become the norm.